A few years ago, I went to meet with a Tibetan Lama (monk), Garchen Rimpoche. When I walked into the meeting room, he was sitting on the floor in front of a little prayer table, spinning the prayer wheel that his students had made for him. While his back was turned to me, I could see that he was giving the totality of his being to the prayer. And when he heard me enter the room, he turned to face me, and now he was giving the totality of his being to me. I had to come to ask his advice on what I should do in terms of spiritual practice. Before I could say a word, he said to me, “Just keep doing what you’re already doing.”How did this little man, who had spent 25 years of his life in a Chinese prison camp, know my mind? I believe that, by giving all of his self to me – by being selfless – he could see, know and understand who I was in that moment and what I needed. In that moment, he was completely devoted to me.
We’re all devoted to something. In the world of opposites, this means we’re either devoted to love or fear (and/or the hatred that is bred by fear), honesty or dishonesty, life or death (intellectual, emotional or spiritual), peace or conflict, joy or sorrow, freedom or restriction, union or separation, and so on.
If you want to know what you’re devoted to, simply look at your life. Whatever you’re truly devoted to shows up in your life. For example, you may think you’re devoted to peace, but if you keep getting in fights with your spouse or a co-worker, you may be attached to the conflict in some way. External realities are reflections of our internal condition. They often show us the ways in which we’re not really at peace in ourselves, and in which we play out our inner, unresolved conflicts in our relationships with others. (We do this so that we can see, sooner or later, that we have these unresolved issues that need our attention).
For myself, I like to think that I’m devoted to the truth – Ultimate Truth (Who/What I am and the Universe is), to be precise. But am I really? Let me give you an idea of how difficult it is to live devoted to the truth. A friend of mine, a Tuscarora medicine man named Tah-weh-dah-qui, once told me that of all the spiritual practices he has undertaken (and he has done some very difficult ones), and of all the practices his teachers – the medicine men and elders of many tribes around the world – have undertaken, the most difficult of all, by far, is the practice of honesty. And living a life of impeccable honesty is what is required to arrive at Ultimate Truth.
Living in impeccable honesty means sharing with those people most important to you whatever is in the way of your sharing love with them, and then resolving the issue that separates you from them. It means returning the ten extra cents you were mistakenly given in change for an item you purchased – and reporting every penny you earned on your income tax form. It means telling your boss what you don’t like about the way s/he manages you. It even means answering your telephone when it rings, instead of checking your caller ID to see who it is, and telling that person if you don’t want to talk with them exactly why you don’t want to. And it means doing all of these things with compassion for yourself and the other person at the same time.
A dozen or so years ago, a woman named Alexandra was doing some work on herself in a Heartwork Basic Intensive, a workshop where people come for four days and nights intent on getting something for themselves that they really want, or on getting rid of something they really don’t want. All of a sudden, one by one, the rest of the participants (who had gathered around her to support her work) turned their backs and walked away from Alexandra. I was as surprised as she was, but the message they were sending to her was loud and clear: that her behavior – which was very self-centered, especially in that moment – was obnoxious and offensive.
Six months later, I ran into Alexandra on the street, and she was a transformed being. She was pleasant and friendly, and not at all self-centered in the way she had been at the Intensive. I asked her what she had been doing for herself that had made such a difference and she told me that in the moment in the Intensive when everyone turned their backs on her, she realized what a negative effect she had on people. No one had ever told her that before, and she always wondered why people moved away from her in her life. Alexandra didn’t want people to leave her, and so she changed how she acted with people from that point on. This transformation of a person’s life was the direct result of the Intensive participants’ honest feedback about how Alexandra’s was affecting them. Had they not been devoted to being impeccably honest with each other, this transformation would not have occurred.
Life is the great teacher for us all. Life will eventually show us whatever ways that we are not living in accord with the deepest truth of our being. In fact, it is showing each of us in every moment. Everything we do that is out of harmony with the truth of our being causes suffering in our lives. The only real question is whether we are willing to look – openly and honestly – at ourselves. What are we really devoted to? What are we creating in our lives? Are we willing to see it? If we can hear or see the messages that are coming to us through our suffering, we can live increasingly in accord with our deepest truth.
Until we are conscious of what we do – and why – we are victims to our own unconscious motivations, and others may be our victims as well. As Alexandra learned, we can help each other become conscious. What could be better than that?
So, I invite you to take an honest look at your own life. What are you really devoted to: honesty or dishonesty, love or fear, life or death, peace or conflict, joy or sorrow, freedom or restriction, union or separation, etc.? And what are you going to do about what you discover to be your truth?
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