Balance
By: Dale Goldstein, LCSW
I have unsuccessfully sought balance for my entire life. I want to say – defiantly – “Show me someone who has really achieved this idealized (by me, at least) state of being! I dare you!” I have not yet met that person. Or perhaps, if I had, I wouldn’t have recognized her/him.
Here’s what I do Know: balance is possible, but only for a moment-at-a-time. In fact, being fully in the moment – being present with what is – is the only “place” true balance can happen. When I am present in the moment with what is –“inside” and “outside” what I think of as “myself” – I am in a natural state of balance. I am in “the flow,” “the zone.” I am able to handle everything that comes my way, with equanimity, peacefulness, love and joy. I am not dwelling on the past or worried about the future. Both of these pursuits take me out of the moment and create disharmony in my being. I lose my balance.
So then the question becomes, “How can I have lots of these in-the-moment moments?” Ideally, how can I have one after another after another after another of these in-the-moment moments? How can I stay present in every moment?
Being present is actually very simple – the simplest thing of all! But it is not easy. We have forgotten how to do it (we knew as little children). And once we relearn/ remember how to do be present, we have to work very hard to remember to come back into the moment – to re-member. And we need a way or ways to come back “home” when we become aware that we have left. Here are a few tools that I have found useful in my journey:
1. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling (or experiencing) right now?”
2. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”
3. Ask yourself, “What’s in the way of my being fully present right now?” Actually, a wonderful exercise related to this tool is to have a friend ask you this question repeatedly for 10 or 15 minutes, using the question to look more-and-more deeply into the predicament. Your friend asks you the question and you answer directly with a word, phrase or very short sentence. Your friend says, “Thank you,” and asks the question again, repeatedly for the amount of time allotted.
4. “Stop, look and listen!” -- and sense. That is, take a minute (perhaps every hour-on-the-hour) to stop whatever you’re doing, sense what’s happening (on the level of sensations) in your body, listen to the sounds inside and outside the space you’re in (as well as in your ears and head), and notice whatever images are in your field of vision. This will bring you directly into the here-and-now. You can also practice this as a meditation for 10, 20 or 30 minutes or longer.
Practicing these tools will increasingly open your awareness to what is (if you’re willing to see things as they really are), and will bring you into a state of balance in any moment you choose. You will know you have the power to determine your state of being, and you will no longer feel like a victim to the circumstances of your life.
By: Dale Goldstein, LCSW
I have unsuccessfully sought balance for my entire life. I want to say – defiantly – “Show me someone who has really achieved this idealized (by me, at least) state of being! I dare you!” I have not yet met that person. Or perhaps, if I had, I wouldn’t have recognized her/him.
Here’s what I do Know: balance is possible, but only for a moment-at-a-time. In fact, being fully in the moment – being present with what is – is the only “place” true balance can happen. When I am present in the moment with what is –“inside” and “outside” what I think of as “myself” – I am in a natural state of balance. I am in “the flow,” “the zone.” I am able to handle everything that comes my way, with equanimity, peacefulness, love and joy. I am not dwelling on the past or worried about the future. Both of these pursuits take me out of the moment and create disharmony in my being. I lose my balance.
So then the question becomes, “How can I have lots of these in-the-moment moments?” Ideally, how can I have one after another after another after another of these in-the-moment moments? How can I stay present in every moment?
Being present is actually very simple – the simplest thing of all! But it is not easy. We have forgotten how to do it (we knew as little children). And once we relearn/ remember how to do be present, we have to work very hard to remember to come back into the moment – to re-member. And we need a way or ways to come back “home” when we become aware that we have left. Here are a few tools that I have found useful in my journey:
1. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling (or experiencing) right now?”
2. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”
3. Ask yourself, “What’s in the way of my being fully present right now?” Actually, a wonderful exercise related to this tool is to have a friend ask you this question repeatedly for 10 or 15 minutes, using the question to look more-and-more deeply into the predicament. Your friend asks you the question and you answer directly with a word, phrase or very short sentence. Your friend says, “Thank you,” and asks the question again, repeatedly for the amount of time allotted.
4. “Stop, look and listen!” -- and sense. That is, take a minute (perhaps every hour-on-the-hour) to stop whatever you’re doing, sense what’s happening (on the level of sensations) in your body, listen to the sounds inside and outside the space you’re in (as well as in your ears and head), and notice whatever images are in your field of vision. This will bring you directly into the here-and-now. You can also practice this as a meditation for 10, 20 or 30 minutes or longer.
Practicing these tools will increasingly open your awareness to what is (if you’re willing to see things as they really are), and will bring you into a state of balance in any moment you choose. You will know you have the power to determine your state of being, and you will no longer feel like a victim to the circumstances of your life.